Life-Changing Dilemmas: NRIs Ponder Moving Back for Ageing Parents
"Reach a reasonable stopping point and return to India": Statement from Singapore-based NRI regarding fellow expatriates.
A fiery debate erupted on social media recently, ignited by a Singapore-based banker who reminded NRIs (Non-Resident Indians) about their elderly parents in India. Amaruvi Devanathan urged them to consider returning or appointing a caretaker, asserting that ageing parents necessitate additional support once they hit 75.
Taking to X, Devanathan penned, "So, just stop at some logical point and make your way back to India. If not, get a caretaker for your parents who live alone in India. If they resist, consider housing them in an elder care facility. Make an effort to visit them at least once every two years. Once parents reach 75, they start deteriorating. Parents aged 80+ can barely function on their own."
This post struck a raw nerve, inspiring heated discussions about familial responsibilities and criteria governing immigration decisions. Some argued that parents, too, were partially responsible for these circumstances, stubbornly refusing to relocate when their children sought closeness. Others shared stories of parents, who'd pushed their children to migrate for better opportunities, only to face separation due to their reluctance.
One X user cautioned, "This couldn't be truer. However, a lot of blame lies with the parents too. They refused to move to be with their children when given a chance. Absolute stubbornness, myopia, and self-centeredness. I know numerous instances of the same situation."
Another user reflected, "We're chained to our successes. Parents yearn for their children's success, and when children excel academically or professionally, and immigrate for better opportunities, the triumph becomes a curse. It splinters families and separates parents from their children. Most of the time, there's no culprit - just circumstances!"
Insights and Perspectives
The Mosaic of Returning to India
- Family Duties: Many NRIs draw on their duty to their family, especially as their parents' physical and mental health declines, particularly after 75.
- Economic Reasons: Foreign countries can be costly, with higher living and healthcare expenses. India offers affordable alternatives for NRIs, seeking an economically feasible option for their families.
- Cultural Preferences: A preference for an Indian lifestyle and traditions fuels some NRIs' desire to raise their children in India, appreciating the country's cultural ethos, including respect for the elderly.
Social Dialogues
- Responsibilities and Accountability: Conflicting viewpoints persist about who should bear the responsibility of caring for elderly parents. Some argue parents could have moved nearer their children, while others feel children should return to care for them.
- Employment Concerns: NRIs encounter hurdles in securing jobs in India upon their return, necessitating compromise on salary and earning local credibility first.
- Healthcare and Insurance Solutions: Services, such as Policybazaar's NRI Care Program, provide comprehensive health insurance policies for NRIs, mitigating concerns over their parents' health and well-being in India.
- As the financial costs of living in foreign countries rise, some NRIs are now considering a return to India for more affordable family care options, aligning with their growing responsibilities towards aging parents.
- A ongoing debate surrounds the allocation of responsibilities for elderly care, with some advocating that parents should move closer to their children while others argue that children should move back to care for their aging parents.
- The shiny veneer of success overseas sometimes brings a hidden cost: strained family relationships and emotional consequences, as children move to better opportunities while their parents remain in India.
- Following this debate, services such as Policybazaar's NRI Care Program have emerged to provide comprehensive insurance solutions, addressing the concerns of NRIs about their family's health and well-being while residing in India.
